The speed of a car

A car is a type of machine that carries passengers from one place to another place. A little brief explanation on what is a car. A car is made up of an outer steel casing with four wheels. Inside, there are cushions for passengers to sit in and a steering wheel for the driver to steer the direction of the moving car. To control the speed of the car, there are two pedals that serve for that purpose. One is the gas pedal, another is the brake pedal. These two pedals are one of the most important things in a car. Without one of those, a car would either not move or not stop. The average ideal speed of a car is 80 km/h though it can range from 0 km/h to 180 km/h for a normal car.

So, here comes my point. Since the ideal speed of a car is 80 km/h on a normal straight road, driving too slow, say 30 km/h, won't do the passengers any good. People would start honking at the back and you would have to speed it up. Besides, you'll never get to your destination. It won't save up your petrol too due to some reasons. So, one shouldn't be fearful but to speed up to the ideal speed.

If you are to speed over 80km/h, for example 130km/h, you will be putting yourself in a seriously dangerous situation. Though it may be fun at first, all of the adrenaline rush, I don't have to explain what would happen out of it when a slight mistake is to happen, which is very very likely.

The speed of 80 km/h is the best speed and should be followed by everyone. If not, most. Its not too fast, and its not too slow. You can enjoy the views while driving besides getting to your destination in time. See, how good that is?

Just saying. :)

..if only.

It's already the middle of my mid sem break. I haven't had much progress with my assignments yet. Well, the very reason i made the photo up there. To temporary run away from assignments, get my head away from it. :)

The words, '..if only.', speaks of regrets. Actually i didn't know what to write on top of those leaves and branches. I wanted it to be something short, yet meaningful. My initial plan was to write something sweet, but then these leaves and branches give me the feeling of...yearning...or is it regret? It's for you, viewer to decide. :) p/s: Oh! I've applied a different brushing method this time. Had never used that before. :)

Darn, now that its done, back to assignments. :(

Best View

This is not that pretty as i wanted it to be. Wanted to do more with the words but i guess my knowledge on photoshop is very limited. Besides, the words are placed wrongly. But i'm too lazy to change it due to a laggy netbook. Well, so be it! :)

Wait for the Lord

Will you?

Dare you to move

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift
Yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here

Between who you are
And who you could be
Between how it is
And how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

...

There is nothing i can do to mend what is broken. There is nothing i can do to reverse what time has done. There is nothing i can do to change what is permanent. Like a scar that has been created, it is forever. In this period of time, it is where i find myself the weakest. Struggle i have, doubt i face. It is hard to trust but i know i must. For this is one of the times that i am tested. On whether i can fully trust in Him or allow doubts and unbelief. A tug of war in me, it is all i feel and see within. But i know, one must go through it in certain times in life. Like gold being tested and purified by fire. And through fire, i must. I long for the intimacy once again. But i know i am my greatest barrier. My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. I shall fight. As i know God has not given up on me, i shall fight too. I want to fight. For what is there to gain if i lose the most important Person in my life? For what is there? He is all i have. And that's what i have always forgotten. Despite all of the above, i know and i feel He is working and helping me. Unexpected messages, uplifting words, fellowships, meetings of Christian friends..have all supported me. I know then that i'm not alone. God is with me. This is all i need to know ... and fully believe.

Still love anyway..

There'll be no sunlight

'Cause there'll be no sunlight,

if I lose you, baby.

There'll be no clear skies,

if I lose you, baby.

Just like the clouds,

my eyes will do the same if you walk away.

Everyday, it will rain.

It will rain.

[Bruno Mars]

Shadow and Light

I would like to quote what Vincent has said to me yesterday night. He said, "It's just like light and darkness. The closer you come to the light, the bigger your shadow is."

I don't know where he got that from but i like the idea of it. :D
We were talking about some other things but what struck my mind was that this illustration truly shows us and God.

The closer you go to God, the clearer you can see your sins and how dark it is compared to the glorious light from Jesus. The more you know God, the more you know how much grace and mercy He has poured forth for you. The closer you get to Him, the more you wonder how foolish it was for you to want to stay in the darkness previously. The closer you get to Him, the more you realize how fallen you are that nothing but the sacrifice of Jesus Christ can save you from all of those.

How blessed i am. :)

An act of kindness touches deep

First of all, this urge of posting is inspired by a little show of kindness to me from a friend whom i'm not really close with. I'm touched by her gesture, her generosity and so, i want to thank her here! Lye, i know you probably won't read this, but thank you! :D

And so, i want to thank the rest of my friends who are here when i need help or support. *getting emotional dy* Thank you for all of the thoughtfulness, the helps, the HELPS, the supports, the concerns etc. I deeply appreciate all of them and i will not forget them. ;)

In my previous post, i was pretty in a down state. Don't worry about it. I'm now alright! :)) More than alright i suppose. Hehe. The day before the competition, it was so terrible we felt we lost all hope. I was just thinking of going up and not to embarass ourselves only. So, in the morning of the competition day, we finally whipped up some simple mash up. (This is UPSI Got Talent competition, whereby it was opened to all UPSI students. Held in auditorium)

Before going up stage, i was pretty nervous. Really prayed to God and then performed. It was so scary, seeing the crowd but the shouts from friends really cooled me down. We didn't have a rehearsal using mics etc so there're so many technical problems. My guitar couldn't really be heard because i didn't know how to turn up the volume and i didn't know how loud it should be. Same goes to my mic. I thought it was already very loud so i drew further away from it, but after listening to the video, i realise i can't really be heard! Ugh! Wasted..can't really hear the harmonization! haha!

But anyway, when the result was being anounced, starting from the tenth place, we really thought we're not going to get anything at all when it reached the 3rd place because our group was still not called and the 3rd place is Kevin's team and they were so so good! So when they announced our name, i was like, "You serious ar? I don't think it's us la". When Syazza stood up, i wanted to tell her that i think we heard wrongly. But the judges looked at us, so i was like..omgeeee, is it really us?? Lol. So we got RM100 and a trophy! Still can't believe it.

Anyhow, life is back to the routine again i guess.Time to face assignments and tests! :)) God bless everyone!!

Devotion

God doesn't need our money. He wants our devotion. God doesn't want our gifts, presents. He wants our obedience. I was feeling rather stressed and depressed. Due to certain few things. I was feeling rather frustrated already due to the terrible practices we had and i seriously have no idea how its going to turn out tomorrow. To also feel like a statue, said to be adored yet not being interested enough to be cared, i was feeling really....terrible. Anyway, i reflected this statue situation and i felt a pang of sadness in me. How many times have i done that to God? It's not things He want from me, He just want me. He wants me to seek Him. He wants the intimacy. And now i understand at least a little (too little still) of how that feels and how much it hurts Him. Forgive me Jesus.

Unconditionally!

Planetshakers concert was awesome! But it didn't last as long as i thought it would! Well, too bad also i don't really know the songs. Still, worshipping God with so many other brothers and sisters in Christ was one of the greatest feeling one can get! It just felt like being in heaven where you sing praise and worship songs together with all the saints towards our King, Jesus! The sermon was hilarious too. Well, one thing that the pastor spoke went right into my heart again like a reminder, or a nudge, or a bang! Its this. Jesus loves unconditionally. He...loves....unconditionally..... Unconditionally.

Well, i am actually struggling with issues regarding on how much i've given yet i'm not appreciated. And on how much i've been stepped on due to my "lembutness" (sort of). Well, it has always been the constant thing i'm facing. I contribute and yet either no one knows, or they just think i'm supposed to do it since im supposed to be the "good" one, or they just don't care. Then as time goes by, i slowly become selfish and protect my own needs first. Im not proud of this. I guess its some kind of self defense. No matter what, it is still bad, and it enters like a poison. But what i want to say here is that, GOD LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY! I've known this since a long time ago, and it has always been a constant message. You can see it on car stickers, song lyrics etc. Yet, today, these words spoke so much to me and i was directed to these issues im facing. He has loved me even when i rejected Him. He has loved me even when i don't care of His Words. He has loved me even when i'm ashamed of Him. He has loved me even when i take His love for granted..... If there's anyone who don't deserve His love, it should be ME! And yet, He loves me.......

It says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."[John3:16]

Can i love others like that too? Can i love unconditionally? He's still dealing with me and i pray that i'll surrender unto Him in this matter!
Anyway, sorry if i sound preachy. I'm just feeling so much of His joy right now. On how He loves everyone!
God bless! :D

tough

There are many things in my life that i just do not understand. Why am i always in this kind of situation? Why does this always happen to me? Why am i always falling back to the same pitying place? Why am i placed in that group? Why am i there when i'm supposedly to be in the other? Why do i have to shoulder all of these? Why don't i have a normal life for once? Is it because of me myself? My actions?

But many of those are simply out of my hands. Am i the only person who feel that way? Maybe not, but im sure there're not a lot (or perhaps i'm just ignorant?).Well, some are heavy stuffs and some perhaps may seem pretty trivial or laughable if shared, but if they affect me, it's not something for me to look over and be ignorant about, burying all of those feelings which will indeed resurface again in the future. I've learnt and am still learning not to neglect my feelings, not to let all of them to destroy me, but to deal with them, to cut the roots of all that're damaging due to situations that arised. I know i may not be able to change the situations that are out of my hands, but i believe something good may arise out of them though i may not know till the end. The only thing that i can do is to repent of all bitterness towards everything and change my way of seeing thing to the way of how God sees.

What i have now is to trust that God has a plan for me even in these kind of situations. In fact, i KNOW i'm not out of His sovereignty and i KNOW, even in this mess, He is in control. I want to take all of these and accept them as trainings from God. Situations that can help me to allow God's grace to work in my life. It's hard not to blame or complain or be bitter about all of these but i think when the going gets tough, its the time when i can grow more by going through the sharpening. Sharpening hurts a pencil, but in the end of the process, the pencil is fit to be used, right? The only problem is allowing God to do that. Oh, i'll have to let down all the pride in me! The selfishness, the envious feelings. Help me, Lord, to submit to whatever that is and is to come. Sorry people if i failed. I'm still learning.

Stars and whales singing

This is really amazing.

Just want to share it to all fellow worshippers.

The whole God's creations sing to Him! All the more should we!

Care & Love

What did i learn today? I guess to make the effort to care for someone. Kinda heavy huh? Maybe. This is something that i'm still in the process of learning! Well, today me and another friend of mine went to see Dr. Goh, who is one of our TESL lecturers. He is also one of the members from the English church we attended last Sunday here. He called us for a simple chat and get-to-know session. Very warm and nice person he is! One of the examples of exerting myself to care for someone. I guess to care for someone requires effort too! I've always thought that some people are able to care without giving effort to it, but now i feel that, no matter how easy the person may show in caring, effort is indeed needed in the process!

I am reminded of the meaning of love too today. In fact, these words popped up to me while i was showering. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. How pure is love! Constantly, i've not loved as how i should. No matter who and on what situations. I know the only way for me to love is to know more of God's love AND to let it soak in me. Commitment time! :)

Actually i'm really sleepy right now and it's been a tiring day. Had dance class just now and it was pretty fun. I think i'm 5% into getting the hang of this? Lol.
God bless! :)

Child Abuse

I read a book called “The Lost Boy” yesterday night. It was a real testimony of a boy who had been abused and escaped from it. It shows how the boy struggled through it until his adulthood. A really touching story. I never knew how an abused child goes through life before this until i read this book written by the child himself who has grown up. His name is David Pelzer. I realised the work of a child abuse social worker is really worth honoring. You need love and lots of wisdom to gain the trust of an abused child and also to help him or her go through it. Not many children are brave enough to voice out the trouble they are facing at home. Its more towards the work of teachers at school. Teachers at school must be alert on what’s going on their students. In this story, this boy was first rescued by the teachers who realised those marks on his hands and his constant scraping for food in the school’s garbage bin due to lack of food.

I felt sort of more pulled towards the job of a teacher and in the same time, and the first time, a child abuse social worker. I feel that everyone is given a chance to help out, in this case, children. It’s whether we are willing to make the first brave step and and have compassion on them.

When i was contemplating about this, i suddenly remembered the short “message” im assigned to deliver this Friday in the opening of my church Mission Weekend. It’s about child abuse! It says: “A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds. Almost five children die every day as a result of child abuse. What can I do about it?”

Is that a coincidence? I don’t think so. I would like to think that it's an "eye opener" to me.
Now, I guess when i deliver the message this Friday, i'll speak with conviction rather than merely stating my well-rehearsed message.

Sweet & Precious

They are more precious than gold,

than much pure gold;

they are sweeter than honey,

than honey from the comb.

By them is your servant warned;

in keeping them there is great reward.

(:

hope in God

 

Praise God in all circumstances. (:

Be a watchtower

When i first stepped into my bedroom this morning, i almost burst out in tears. Seeing my jacket, my bed, my books, my windows, etc...ahh..bliss! They simply moved and warmed my heart to see something familiar after a long time, like meeting back my long lost best friend! I know i sounded very emotional, and its not thaaaat long i was away to justify such expressions, but i don't know why i really almost lost my mind right there at that time. Lol.

Anyways, back track now. I was away for almost 3 weeks...again. This time, i was back to my mum's hometown, Perlis. Mainly i wanted to spend time with my grandma. I'd always wanted to stay there for a longer period since a few years back but couldn't due to school and etc. I guess it's not too late. I don't know when i'll have this opportunity anymore....

Being back this time, i realised there were many changes happening again and going to happen. I'm really scared of what is to come next. Everyone is getting old..... At times, i feel like i have to be a strong spiritual anchor...to really pray...to really fast for a good end to those changes. I know i can't prevent things from happening, i can't make the time to stop for me..but i know God is in every bit there on Heaven as it is here. He holds everything. I'm just scared that i'll be a seasoned watchtower. Anyway, i'll not lose hope. As Paul said here..

"Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses.....; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God....." [2 Corinthians 6:4-7a]

I will take Paul's example.
Just keep me moving.

the imperfect disappears

 

It is the light of heaven only, that will remove all clouds and darkness that hide the face of God from us.

Hope fastens on future happiness, and waits for that; but in heaven, faith will be swallowed up in actual sight, and hope in enjoyment.

There is no room to believe and hope, when we see and enjoy. But there, love will be made perfect. There we shall perfectly love God. And there we shall perfectly love one another. 
 
[Commentary from Matthew Henry]