Gratitude Challenge Day 11

The things I'm grateful of / for today:

A) I found out that I will not have to teach the form 4 this coming Thursday. This gives me more time to concentrate on my action research first!

B) no judgement when I said something that has sounded quite far-fetched but it was what I really thought at that time. I am still not sure whether what I thought is true. 

C) for not judging my messiness. Haha! 

D) the free laksa in school today. And it was laksa lemak! First time eating belacan just like that. One piece. Lol.

E) God for His protection today!

Gratitude Challenge Day 10

Today I had another sort of bad day in school. Lol. Students were all pretty sluggish today and I couldn't stand it. Scolded many of them. Well.. Why couldn't they change their attitude? Pretty disappointed with them.

Anyways, I have a few things that I am grateful of today.

A) the time that we could understand more of each other. The personality test helped me to see and understand more on who you are as sometimes I am just too blind or not sensitive enough. :)

B) my Practicum friends who are sporting enough to break out from school with us. Lol. We just wanted to skip a meeting which actually had nothing to do with us. 

C) the time in mamak today. I just love those kind of talk. It makes me feel like evrything will be alright again. 

D) Gem's post on God. I am amazed that she is brave enough to post quite a few posts on God, praising Him and all. This is a very huge encouragement. She did it even though she knows many of her fans may not be Christians and may not like the posts. That's called not being ashamed of God! :)

E) the picture of my dog taken by my father. He just tickles me sometimes. Looking at his picture, his mischievous act, could just put a smile on my face!

F) my discipline teacher for offering his help. He asked me of everything is alright and on whether the students are giving me trouble as I seemed pretty stressed today. Then he said it's ok, that if there's anything, just inform him and he will handle. I'm grateful for such support although I think I will not send any names to him la :)

Jesus fed thousands of people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Nothing is impossible for Him. The people begged to touch the edge of the Jesus' clothe so that they can be healed. With such faith, those who touched were healed. We just have to seek and ask Him to help us. I am asking Him for help in my coming observation. I cannot control how the students will be as their behaviour is pretty erratic. I am also not yet sure on what is the best way to execute four skills in 40 minutes (will be a feat and I have not had a one-period class to practice on before). But I will ask God to help me because I believe He is a God who answers prayers. So now, I will lay my worries at His feet. Amen.

Gratitude Challenge Day 9

Today is another rocky day. However, I am feeling joy now. I am feeling like crying and laughing at the same time. I am feeling like God is still here with me despite of everything. I am feeling beyond happy that I can always go back to Him. I am feeling grateful that I know Him. Without Him, what will happen to me? I will not know joy. That true joy that cannot be found everywhere but in Him alone. I wish that I will not only turn to Him in troubles times! I will not let that happen again.

I am grateful for:

A) the speedy recovery. I had a terrible flu and mild fever earlier this afternoon and evening. I couldn't do anything but to sleep. Thank God I am recovering now.

B) the act! It is kind of his first time encouraging me by sending me a video on God. Previously, he only asked me to seek Him and read the Bible when I was feeling really pressured. I guess He is doing something in his heart. 

C) the encouragement given by friends through FB. I feel supported. The likes, comments and personal messages, I really appreciate them. 

D) the simple act of saying sorry. Cleaned bathroom and etc and taking the steps to say sorry first even though I should be the one who said sorry for not understanding. That, makes me feel loved. 

Gratitude Challenge Day 8

Today is one of those not easy days to be thankful but i will try my best to. After all, this is the purpose of my challenge.

Number One: the call from my mum. It has been some time we didn't have a phone conversation. 

Number Two: the change of lamp despite the will.

Number Three: no class today in school and i got to take a very long afternoon nap.

Number Four: managed to install the bathroom lock!

I thought of my grandfather today. I miss him. I was quite close to him, but I never really know him deeply because i was very young. He passed away when i was at the age of 7. The age when i dont even know the existence of cancer. I hope he is at a better place now.

Gratitude Challenge Day 7

Grateful of:

A) the Practicum friends I have in my school. They are one bunch of nice people. They make my life in school much better!

B) the head of Penyelia peserta. She is friendly and helpful. I love working with her! Am glad that I am in her team.

C) my lecturer/supervisor again for her goodwill and intention to teach us more! 

However, am hiding behind a rock!

P/s: had my first combination of nasi kambing and susu kambing in a meal. :D

Grateful Challenge Day 6

The things I'm grateful of yesterday:

A) I was able to get some rest as I took sick leave. It was the most relaxing day I have ever felt since a very long time ago. I didn't feel stressed at all. Even the recent holidays didn't give such feeling to me. 

B) I asked for one day leave, doctor gave me two days. Reminds me of God. God gives more than we ask!

C) I got to go to Junior's Welcoming Night. 

Gratitude Challenge Day 5

Things that I'm grateful for:

A) Puan Kow for her friendliness and guidance during koko meeting.

B) my Remove class. They made me happy with their funny remarks and their cooperation. 

C) I got some time to relax at night. Much needed rest after the long day!

Thank God for helping me through another day in school! :)

Gratitude Challenge Day 4

I'm grateful of:

A) my supervisor. She actually cares for what is happening to us! I hope that she will see the truth and stand for justice. :)

B) jerry because he becomes my person "gym" trainer and motivator. :D grateful for his care towards my health. 

C) supportive friends. I could just share the things that are bothering me and they would support me in all manners.

Finally, I thank God for the major event that happened today, the news which was delivered by my housemate. God seems to be opening a way for us! 

However, I was quite drawn towards Mark 3 whereby Jesus was constantly observed by the Pharisees as they were trying to find fault with Him. Jesus of course is faultless. He purposely performed miracles in front of them so that they may believe. However, they had stubborn hearts and Jesus was distressed. 

Anyway, I felt like He is telling me through the verses that I should not allow "them" to find any fault in me. I will have to raise my standard even higher. I hope I can be able to do that. Christ, strengthen me!

Gratitude Challenge Day 3

Things I am grateful of today:

1) Had my first observation from the lecturer today. It was a surprise visit and she wanted to observe one of us. I volunteered as I am prepared. The marks are not that satisfying by I have learnt a lot from her feedback and encouragement. Will try my best to improve!

2) The concerned look given by her to us after the "meeting". I think she is willing to hear us out and understand our side of story. This gives a kind of light unto our situation. 

3) Feel blessed to be treated by our China friend, Resa. 

4) The explanation from the book Case for Faith that Jesus undoubtedly performed miracles. It just gave me so much joy knowing that Jesus is indeed real! He is as real as you and me! :))

God, thank You for today. It is indeed a tough day. Despite everything that has happened and is still happening, I pray that I will learn to trust in You and to act out of love. For love drives out fear. May the fear in my heart be driven out and Your love to fill me. 

Gratitude Challenge Day 2

The things that I am grateful of today:

1) Church feels like home and I have missed this atmosphere for quite some time. The people were friendly too and seemed genuine.

2) A forgiving boyfriend. 

3) A dependable brother.

Thank God for His presence today. :)

Gratitude Challenge Day 1

I am going to challenge myself to post at least 3 things that I'm grateful of each day for 49 days. Instead of posting in Twitter, which was my initial plan, I will be posting here in my blog. Only by doing so will I be able to look back at how wonderful God is in my life. I think it will be really encouraging to me in the future.

Why 49 days? Because these are my remaining Practicum days. I had been having a hard time in my previous Practicum days. Many bad things happened and I was under depression because there was really nothing I could do to make the bad things go away. Everything was out of control and I felt suffocated.

Nevertheless, despite of everything, I think, it was what I actually needed. In this mess that I was in, where I felt like there was no escape, I was forced to turn to God because I know it is only Him alone that could help me go through it. I am still not out of the hole that I am in, but this situation I am in, God has used it to draw me closer to Him. That is why I would like to seek Him, to trust in Him. Last Sunday, I thought I needed to go to a church again. In the end, I went to Glad Tidings PJ and the message on that day was about trusting God despite of circumstances. I am very grateful to God for that message. He sent another message to me when I was urged to open my Bible app in my phone the other day. The verse of that day was Psalm 91. I felt like I actually surfaced from this dark water I am in when I read it. I am still swimming in the water but I know, with each Word he feeds me, I will be able to swim out of this water soon.

So, these are some of the reasons why I would like to start this Gratitude Challenge. I want to see everyday as a gift from God. I want to be able to reflect back during bad days and draw some good out of it. I want to learn to be thankful to God by this practice. I want to allow His presence in my life, that everything I do will speak forth of His love. I hope that I will persevere in challenging myself in this.

Three things that I am grateful of today:
1) My friend, Yi Yeen. I know that God puts her in this period of my life in order to encourage me and pull me back to Christ. Her constant care and loyalty have encouraged me tremendously.
2) The sermon in youth fellowship today because it reminds me that fellowship is important. Everyone needs to have fellowship.
3) My boyfriend, Jerry, for helping me to settle the bill first and to print my class materials. Thank you for being helpful.
4) I was able to buy a Bible which is very affordable and is what I need. My old ones were spoilt and I needed one. Was afraid that I could not find the shop and that the shop would be closed.
5) My parents reached Perlis safely this evening. Was a bit worried as it was raining this morning.

Most of all, thank You Jesus for being with me today. :)

My journey to understand

I'm still marvelling and digesting this truth.

"The freedom of choice that we are given includes the possibility of sin. When people choose evil over God, the result would be the suffering"

God is all-powerful. I would think that He can handle, or should handle all the bad things that are going on in this world. Looking at the result in our world today, i would always ask why, either consciously or unconsciously or just wiping this question away as my life now is mostly better than half of the world is facing, or ignoring the looming question because it is so hard to be answered and i have no answer to it, why would God allow pain and suffering to happen in our world? The genocides, the accidents, the sickness, deaths..

I am now reading this book called Case For Faith by Lee Strobel. It seeks to explain all the difficult questions in life. Now i am in the first part of the first chapter and i just need some time to digest them...to soak in them.....

As to the question that have been in my mind since a very long time, i think i found a partial of the answer in this truth above. We are given the free will by God. A free will to choose. If we can choose to the good side, we can also choose to do the bad. God cannot stop us from choosing the bad as this will contradict with his free will plan for us. So, basically, the choice that we have is actually the source where sins or pain or suffering come from.

This truth is still resounding in me. Even though i have known the story about Eve going against God in the beginning, i didnt really connect it to the things that happen now in our world. Or maybe i had just forgotten about this truth.

I am shaken.
What choice have i made that contribute to the increasing sin, suffering and pain in this world?
God, what have i done? What sin have i cowardly closed my eyes to that contribute to this downfall state?
Help me to repent from them...

"Real love must involve a choice. But with the granting of that choice comes the possibility that people would choose instead to hate."

Gosh..i really have so much freedom in my choice..and that, my choice is actually a very heavy responsibility that God has granted me.
To how i use this choice, will be all up to me.
I need to remember the magnitude of this.

It.

It has come back again. Time after time.

Will it haunt me forever? Thinking of the possibilities in another universe?

Different places, different opportunities, different exposures.

Of what and who did i owe to to be in this stagnant, forsaken place?

Of what and who did i owe to to be led to this lonely, hopeless path?

So different..so hurtful..so forsaken.

Turning left and right just to find tall, steep ridges flanking both my side.

Is there no other choice but to follow this dark set road?

It's dashed. It's broken. It's shattered.

Hoping to find a little piece of color out of the crushed fragments.

But the little piece, would it be enough

To cover the deep void

That is constantly widening.

Cook cook!

Since i have been staying alone for most of the time now, i have been experimenting with some dishes, or rather different kind of fried rice, to be specific.

It is actually kind of fun to decide what i want to eat for the day. However, the down side is that, i am always lack of ingredients! Well, at least, i will not have the chance to entertain my uncertainty of having to choose from a wide variety of dishes to cook and eat. Topped with my limited cooking skill, choosing a recipe is rather easy for now.

Currently, the only ingredients i have are spinach, potato leaves, eggs, 1/2 garlic, 1 onion, noodles, rice, mushroom, olive oil, chili paddy (very big plus!), soy sauce.......and salt.
Well, due to the lack of ingredients, i tend to scurry around more for hidden, or expired stuffs that i can throw in. For example, i found a pack of cheese, which has been sitting in my freezer for ages, for my lunch later (i hope it doesn't give me stomachache but i need cheese)! Maybe i might find more stuffs! *wink*

This is something i cooked last night. I shall name it spinach mushroom garlic chili paddy fried rice! One of my success. 

Till then.

Pancakes OTW

I sent my mum off to the bus station yesterday night.
And now, i am all alone.












Cooking pancakes.

*eyes popping out with mouth opened wide if you want* (only applies for those people who know i am not the cooking type)

Yes. That is how bored i am right now.
But then, it is quite fun actually..whipping out my own magic in the kitchen.
It is still in the pan, in the heat.
To be honest, I have totally NO idea whether it will come out fine.
It is now half-cooked, and..urm..actually looks kind of weird..the colour i mean.
I think i have put too much oil..? Or is it flour..?

I really hope its edible. =S

Choose to move forward

I feel defeated.
A lot of things seem to be falling apart. Things seem to be so easy for others, yet to me, they are so hard to be achieved. The dreams and hopes that i have always had, come so easily to people but me.
I feel .. defeated.
But i want to believe that, one day, i will be a conqueror too. If there is no such hope anymore, what will my life be on earth then? Surrender to the fate of life? Is fate the determiner of all things or are there other roads to fighting back fate? I want to believe that God is bigger than this fate. I want to believe, with this little faith i have.
I know i lack of so many things in me. But for now, i want to believe that things will change if i have the will and faith. Not only to believe, but to act on this belief.
Let the past be the past. With every failure, i will make them as stepping stones to success. For hard work, determination, perseverance and faith, shall be my companions in this journey ahead.

The finale

Today would be my last day in grandma's house, most probably, in this year. I have been staying here for the past three weeks. Thought i would not be able to survive but i did. It was not that hard this time as i could connect with the outside world at least, thanks to the broadband from aunt.

What i didn't expect to feel is mm-se-dak-ness to leave. I thought i would be awfully glad on this day. Well, i do feel a little glad as i can now move on to do the things i need to do at home, and that i would finally be at home with family members after months! But still, the thought of leaving my grandma behind leaves a sad feeling in me. I also will miss the constant visits from aunts and uncles who will bring along food. P/S: Good for my tastebuds :D

With all that is said, i now pronounce the end of another season in Perlis. Looking forward to the start of a new season, this time, a season full of trips! ^^

Reborn

This blog has been dead for quite some time aye. I doubt there is anyone who is still viewing this blog. Probably given up anticipating for the never-coming new post. :D

I actually forgot the existence of this blog until yesterday night when my friend sent to me the link to her blog. She told me that she has done a couple of advertorials and got paid for it. Pretty interesting aye. I might be considering doing some of it too.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is more for me to remind myself on what i need to do in this holiday...or in the future. At times i found myself veering towards other non-productive things and thus wasting my time. In the end, i would blame myself for not putting my head and heart to the things i have vowed myself to do, including my interests! Heck, i know i love my interests, once i am actually doing it and reaping the benefits of it. It may seem funny to hear that it would require me effort to work on my interests, but its true to me. Perhaps i am just lazy that way. Time to change!
"Life would be more colourful if  one is hardworking." A phrase i have formed in my head and is hoping to stick to it.

Things i would like to do:
1) Make a scrapbook with the photos from each trip in the past.
2) Work as a freelancer. Anything that i can afford to do.
3) Update this blog.
4) To have a healthy lifestyle.
5) To not lose contact with old friends. Though i really suck in long-distance relationships with friends. I actually did not realise it until my "sister" told me about it.

Just five is enough for now. I do not want to be too ambitious about this. Hopefully this would work. :)

Japan Trip - Day Four in Kyoto

It didn't rain! :D

After a full breakfast, we headed towards the Kiyomizu-dera Temple. It was a temple built majestically at the hillside. The structure of the temple is the most unique i have ever seen. Around the temple, we visited multiple interesting sites. One of them is where the Jishu Shrine is placed. It is believed to be the god of love and "good matches". They have these two love stones placed like about 30m apart. It was said that if anyone can walk from one stone to another while covering their eyes, they will be able to find their true love. So, bro tried it and ended up bumping so many people along the way. I had to scream Stop every time he was about to bang onto someone! Kind of hilarious!

Surrounding the temple too, there are ponds of water from the hill where you can drink. I tried it and mayn, it is the tastiest water i have ever drunk if water can be tasted~

Anyway, to conclude, the place is a beautiful one. I love love the traditional Japanese houses. Oh, i also saw a few of the people wearing kimonos with those thick make ups on. Real authentic Japanese! We went from shop to shop, taking photos here and there, taking in every scenery and enjoying the atmosphere. We tried their green tea cream puff and custard cream puff. They were good! Also tried a waffle ice cream with strips of chocolate. Local product and its good!

We took a taxi back to hotel earlier as mum was not feeling that well.

Tomorrow will be a busier day as there are still so many places left to be visited!
I hope my camera battery can last longer tomorrow!

Japan trip - Day Three in Kyoto

So we checked out from our hotel in Osaka in the morning and headed towards the Osaka Station where we took a train to Kyoto! Kind of miss Osaka even now.

Kyoto, on the first sight, seems a little like Switz and Rome to me. Almost the same feeling i got when i viewed those two cities last time. Kyoto, i think the third biggest city in Japan, probably like Ipoh to us Malaysians, is huge huge huge and impressive. The people here are a little different than the people in Osaka. Well, for one, there is lesser and more appropriate make up on the girls here. Somehow, this place has more cars and much lesser bicycles compared to Osaka.

After checking in to our hotel, which is Citadines Hotel, we searched for food. It was already 3pm. We went to one which was recommended by the people in the internet. I had fried crispy chicken and egg with rice. Not bad. Very very full in the end. While eating, i noticed there were two beggar-looking guys having their late lunch there too. As i was too full, i couldn't finish my food. So, when i saw the empty bowls in front of them, like really really empty and clean, i felt pretty bad. Not a single of anything was left, like they are treating each bits of rice as gold. Shame on myself. Repent! Haha. I also noticed that the people here in Japan, again, are very polite and kind. They treated the beggars equally and with kindness, even though they refilled their bowls of rice twice! (rice can be refilled in this restaurant without charge)

Anyway, after eating, we headed towards the Nishiki Market. Mostly a place or a lonnngg street that sells food! And many many other stuffs. As i had already gone to Osaka, which has almost the same kind of streets, some even better, this Nishiki Market seems a little dull to me. Still, it is a great place to visit. We reached an intersection that leads us to another happening street when we saw our first Japanese temple. The temple is a small one and it has a little garden at the side as well. Not bad for a start. Tomorrow i will visit more of this.

We walked and went sightseeing any streets or shops that caught our eyes. Plenty of stuffs sold but all of them are pretty pricey. We also managed to walk through a brilliantly-lit street that is filled with shops that sell branded items.

We bought some local food and went back to our hotel to eat. As mum loves mushrooms, she bought some of that too and we had our little steamboat session at night. Tried their famous Asahi beer and it is good! I think the best beer i have ever drunk! Million times better than sake of course! Hehe.

That's about it. Tomorrow will continue my update. Hopefully the weather man is wrong on tomorrow's rain. It is supposed to rain the whole day and we have to visit a lot of places. :( *crossing fingers and toes*

Till then!