My journey to understand

I'm still marvelling and digesting this truth.

"The freedom of choice that we are given includes the possibility of sin. When people choose evil over God, the result would be the suffering"

God is all-powerful. I would think that He can handle, or should handle all the bad things that are going on in this world. Looking at the result in our world today, i would always ask why, either consciously or unconsciously or just wiping this question away as my life now is mostly better than half of the world is facing, or ignoring the looming question because it is so hard to be answered and i have no answer to it, why would God allow pain and suffering to happen in our world? The genocides, the accidents, the sickness, deaths..

I am now reading this book called Case For Faith by Lee Strobel. It seeks to explain all the difficult questions in life. Now i am in the first part of the first chapter and i just need some time to digest them...to soak in them.....

As to the question that have been in my mind since a very long time, i think i found a partial of the answer in this truth above. We are given the free will by God. A free will to choose. If we can choose to the good side, we can also choose to do the bad. God cannot stop us from choosing the bad as this will contradict with his free will plan for us. So, basically, the choice that we have is actually the source where sins or pain or suffering come from.

This truth is still resounding in me. Even though i have known the story about Eve going against God in the beginning, i didnt really connect it to the things that happen now in our world. Or maybe i had just forgotten about this truth.

I am shaken.
What choice have i made that contribute to the increasing sin, suffering and pain in this world?
God, what have i done? What sin have i cowardly closed my eyes to that contribute to this downfall state?
Help me to repent from them...

"Real love must involve a choice. But with the granting of that choice comes the possibility that people would choose instead to hate."

Gosh..i really have so much freedom in my choice..and that, my choice is actually a very heavy responsibility that God has granted me.
To how i use this choice, will be all up to me.
I need to remember the magnitude of this.

It.

It has come back again. Time after time.

Will it haunt me forever? Thinking of the possibilities in another universe?

Different places, different opportunities, different exposures.

Of what and who did i owe to to be in this stagnant, forsaken place?

Of what and who did i owe to to be led to this lonely, hopeless path?

So different..so hurtful..so forsaken.

Turning left and right just to find tall, steep ridges flanking both my side.

Is there no other choice but to follow this dark set road?

It's dashed. It's broken. It's shattered.

Hoping to find a little piece of color out of the crushed fragments.

But the little piece, would it be enough

To cover the deep void

That is constantly widening.

Cook cook!

Since i have been staying alone for most of the time now, i have been experimenting with some dishes, or rather different kind of fried rice, to be specific.

It is actually kind of fun to decide what i want to eat for the day. However, the down side is that, i am always lack of ingredients! Well, at least, i will not have the chance to entertain my uncertainty of having to choose from a wide variety of dishes to cook and eat. Topped with my limited cooking skill, choosing a recipe is rather easy for now.

Currently, the only ingredients i have are spinach, potato leaves, eggs, 1/2 garlic, 1 onion, noodles, rice, mushroom, olive oil, chili paddy (very big plus!), soy sauce.......and salt.
Well, due to the lack of ingredients, i tend to scurry around more for hidden, or expired stuffs that i can throw in. For example, i found a pack of cheese, which has been sitting in my freezer for ages, for my lunch later (i hope it doesn't give me stomachache but i need cheese)! Maybe i might find more stuffs! *wink*

This is something i cooked last night. I shall name it spinach mushroom garlic chili paddy fried rice! One of my success. 

Till then.